If you read the post “Journalists unite, lend extra eyes” from a couple days ago, you know I compared concision editing to trimming a plant to clean it up. Today in James L. Kilpatrick’s column in The Fort Pierce Tribune, “The Writer’s Art,” he said we should “trim our shrubbery” when revising sentences.
The following are examples he cited from The New York Times:
“There is a lot of talk that Sen. Hilary Clinton is now fated…”
“There is a lot that Senators Clinton and Obama need to be talking about…”
And this is how he showed to concisely edit sentences and get rid of the “introductory there:”
“Some observers contend that Sen. Hilary Clinton…”
“Senators Clinton and Obama need to talk about…”
He also taught me something new: “a graduate doesn’t graduate.” The school graduates, therefore:
“…She was graduated from college last year.”
“…Girls have been graduated at a higher rate.”
And he featured something I learned from studying for one of my many AP Style quizzes in my journalism classes: emigrants leave their country for another, while immigrants have come to a country from their native land.
Note previous grammar tips from “The Writer’s Art:” “Grammar tip: referent pronouns made easy.”
June 2, 2008 at 1:50 am
[...] Josephine wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt… quizzes in my journalism classes: emigrants leave their country for another, while immigrants have come to a country from their native land. Note previous grammar tips from “The Writer’s Art:” “Grammar tip: referent pronouns made easy.” [...]
June 2, 2008 at 11:23 pm
I’m in the journalism school at Ohio University and freshmen have to take a course called “Precision Language”, more commonly referred to as “Grammar Boot Camp”. A lot of information was thrown at us during that quarter, but the graduation thing I never knew. This was a cool post
PS-I really enjoy reading your stuff. I’m just finishing up my freshman year and I came across your blog one day in an AOII search on Google blogs. It’s always nice to find a fellow panda (now alum, I see) at another school who is/was also a journalism major!
June 15, 2008 at 10:52 pm
[...] previous grammar tips from “The Writer’s Art:” “Grammar tips: concision editing, often misused words,” and “Grammar tips: referent pronouns made easy.” Possibly related posts: (automatically [...]
April 8, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Theawkwardpanda should have omitted the unnecessary “up”(finishing up my freshmsn year).